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They have been married for 49.3 years. When writing about sex, she explains, people always assume you are writing from your own life. She adds, You feel as though youve invited people into your bedroom. But a lot of the sex in The Valley of Amazement is contrived and unromantic; courtesans practice the illusions of love, Tan notes. Her research revealed very sad stories, many of which are similar: girls taken as young as age fiveoften by family membersand sold either to courtesan houses or to brothels (which were deemed less prestigious than the former in the sex-trade pecking order). What pulled you through? The truth is not always easy. What did you learn from that trip that was so important to you? I always want to give exceptions to the rule. She received offers from several major publishing houses, including A.A. Knopf, Vintage, Harper & Row, Weidenfeld & Nicolson, Simon and Schuster, and Putnam Books, but declined them all as they offered compensation that she and agent considered to be insufficient. Lou DeMattei and Amy Tan | Married Divorced Children Ex | FamousHookups.com Join Facebook to connect with Lou DeMattei and others you may know. I thought I was clever enough to write as well as these people, and I didnt realize that there is something called originality and your own voice. There are all these people out there, so many people looking for the same kind of happiness, the same kind of success, the same kinds of comforts. She married Lou DeMattei, a tax attorney, while finishing her master`s degree in linguistics from San Jose State University and starting a doctoral program at the University of California at. The hurdles and conflicts are really momentary. Her mother commits suicide. DeMattei, an attorney, took up the practice of tax law, while Tan studied for a doctorate in linguistics, first at the University of California at Santa Cruz, later at Berkeley. And this really all was very sincere, but at the end (this is why I think I won this essay contest), I made a pitch for money, which, of course, is what ministers do at the end of their talks. There was another reason, and that is because I knew he was very, very sick and he had talked openly, admitting that he could die. She left the doctoral program in 1976 and took a job as a language development consultant to the Alameda County Association for Retarded Citizens, and later directed a training project for developmentally disabled children. But, you know, now we something else to talk about. These little girls, theyre only eight and six and they are already so afraid to be wrong. And this story, The Hundred Secret Senses, has a lot to do with do you believe in life after this one? What youll find ultimately is that this whole question of who you are is a very, very interesting question and having two cultures to add to the mix of it makes it even more interesting. It was very simple. Their memory is warped. I do look at the photos of myself and see how I age each year, and how my hairstyle changes, but I try not to take any of that stuff seriously, because Im afraid of then contouring my life, which is my writing, my self, toward those reactions, and I dont want to lead a reactionary life. So, to me, fiction became a process of discovering what was true, for me. Id never be good enough for God or for my family or for my mother or father so I might as well be bad. by "Gulf Times (Doha, Qatar)"; News, opinion and commentary General interest Best sellers