77. Funny retirement jokes and quotes add some well-meaning lightness and laughter to a retirement party, post-retirement dinner, or another event that celebrates this new chapter in the person's life. The key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while take a drive to the grocery store. 5. Here are twelve reasons you will love being retired. "Someone once said, There are two good reasons to be a teacher July and August. You remember where your office is, but not exactly what you do there. When did being unemployed become something to brag about? Now we get sore behinds from riding in the car. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. 47. Cusack's character, Rob, is a big fan of them; so am I. David Letterman had his Top 10 lists, but half the list was nonsense and the lame answers distracted you from laughing at the 4 or 5 funny ones. 64. - Unknown " What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old In my soul, you have bred. You keep telling yourself, just one more year. 76. Now you can say you're retired. Be nice to your kids. 10 quotes that perfectly sum up retirement | OverSixty Current market conditions bring both opportunity and risk. A common rule of thumb puts a sustainable withdrawal rate . Do you realize that in about 40 years, well have thousands You're going to have a lot to get rid of now that you're retired. If you're considering a job after retirement, use this list to guide your search and expectations: 1. 82.20 % / 1672 votes. With that in mind, check out the top 82 retirement humor jokes. You may find that you enjoy having a morning. Deana Carter Celebrates 'Strawberry Wine' Anniversary, Encourages The full list includes: 1. You have no daily rush hour traffic to contend. You don't have to deal with the jerks at the office anymore. In thread on twitter, teachers shared their overwhelming stress, anxiety, and uncontrollable exhaustion. Answer: Q: Why did the robber retire? "Please transmute your vajra tendencies and just allow the cohort to hold space for you to process your trauma." Just pretend it's Saturday, every day. A health savings account is a beneficial tool for retirement planning. The guy touches his elbow . 50+ Funny Inspirational Quotes For Work, Life and Happiness. Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could. Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every 30. 1. 1.No commuting 2.No alarm clock 6am 3.Older than my all my clients 4. Please check our website for the most up-to-date info on Washington's response to COVID-19 at www.doh .