Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. I am now 20 days in NC and have stepped away from these friends as well. Lessons were learned & I am working on me & my EU tendencies which have been there since childhood I am guessing. "Moving on means choosing not to let the hurt and anger have power over you," Kevon Owen, M.S., LPC, a clinical psychotherapist, told INSIDER. Hard pass! The urge remains to call him and ask, Can you help me make sense of what happened? Frontiers in Psychology. Ive now had a couple months with the MM at work having gotten the message and having backed completely off. Mymble I am so glad to hear how you are feeling. And holding grudges may actually harm your health. That means an awful lot of retraining. I am going to be me and be in this true reality that I have found post-relationship. I would take such advice with a grain of salt. I used to give to both ACs too many chances, did they change, did I change?! I dont have to try to convince myself that the EUM will eventually come around just to indirectly, silently protect his ego. But. I was told yesterday to be content with teaching the same classes, over and over, and to accept that our campus will cut the one program I enjoy teaching in that is congruent with my values and who I am. They arent listening or tell you youre just plain wrong. I am deeply sorry for what you are going through,and although you dont know it now you can survive and pop out the other end of the dark tunnel into a new and better light. A grudge often leads to burnout because it is the result of internalizing strong emotions and failing to decide what to do. Not at all. This of course prompts me to ask WTF and he tells me my friend and their son moved out in Sept. Are you two still together or have you broken up? The Difference Between Holding a Grudge and Setting a Boundary Keep strong, dont rethink anything. Were always so ready to call/txt the ex when we hear that word. Therefore, I will never get an apology and there really is nothing he can say to make what he did alright with me. I still get upset, but less frequently. Its so elementary but I hadnt thought of what you said, at least not in that way. I still am having to work on that. Perfect explanation Sparkle! I like cheeseburgers, but I no longer eat them because theyre not good for me. 1998-2023 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER). Why Do They Keep Having Sex With Me If Theyre Not Interested Or Dont Want The Relationship I Want?